Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He ate his pizza before it was cool.
Afrojack's EDC set on the headphones?
I’m that guy with the shiteating grin on the treadmill. No bigs.
Next month, one student loan will be halfway paid (I’ve been paying since May 2008) By the end of September, the other two student loans will be be halfway paid (I’ve been paying since March 2008) Also by the end of September, my car loan will be 3/4 paid off (I’ve been paying since April 2008) Other than medical, tax, and credit card debt (less than $1500), and what I owe my...
variegate asked: Oh nice. Where from originally? I've lived all over Vegas, but before I moved the last place I lived was off of Blue Diamond and Decatur, southwest(ish) side. Chicago is awesome, I love it here.
variegate asked: You live in Vegas? I was born and raised there. You're pretty damn cute, by the way.
I'm on last.fm now!....still not too sure what the... →
A Modern Sexual-Assault Tale [tw]
Man: Hello, I'd like to report a mugging.
Officer: A mugging, eh? Where did it take place?
Man: I was walking by 21st and Dundritch Street and a man pulled out a gun and said, "Give me all your money."
Officer: And did you?
Man: Yes, I co-operated.
Officer: So you willingly gave the man your money without fighting back, calling for help or trying to escape?
Man: Well, yes, but I was terrified. I thought he was going to kill me!
Officer: Mmm. But you did co-operate with him. And I've been informed that you're quite a philanthropist, too.
Man: I give to charity, yes.
Officer: So you like to give money away. You make a habit of giving money away.
Man: What does that have to do with this situation?
Officer: You knowingly walked down Dundritch Street in a nice suit when everyone knows you like to give away money, and then you didn't fight back. It sounds like you gave money to someone, but now you're having after-donation regret. Tell me, do you really want to ruin his life because of your mistake?
Man: This is ridiculous!
Officer: This is a rape analogy. This is what women face every single day when they try to bring their rapists to justice.
Man: Fuck the patriarchy.
Among the trial spectators was 51-year-old Robin Wilkie, who said she has spent...– Casey Anthony acquitted of killing daughter - News - ReviewJournal.com
David: We would go [out] tonight but Celine is singing to me Me: oh wow, a private celine serenade. be sure to bring a poncho! David: Omg why? lol Me: dont want to spoil the surprise! David: Does she spit? Me: she squirts
Overheard at social media professional mixer...
“I’m obsessive over my collection of hard drives, and I like to name them all after communists (you know…because I’m sharing). Mao, Castro, Stalin & Lenin….although those last two are the same drive, just different partitions.”
Anonymous asked: I want to lick the the sweat that forms on your lower back, right above your butt crack.
reblog for an awkward message in your ask.